Exit the (comfort) zone

Pamela Allardice
Thursday, September 3, 2009
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Exit the (comfort) zone
Doing something that scares you can be challenging, but it is essential for the development of self-esteem, psychological strength and the enjoyment of life...
Pamela Allardice

Nervous? Doing things that scare you may actually improve your life, says Pamela Allardice.

Staying put in life is a bit like sitting in a boat that's tied up: you might be afloat, but you're not going anywhere — and you're probably not having much fun, either. A routine is one step away from a rut. If you sense it’s time for a change, but you're unsure, here’s how to move forward.

Tune in. Know thyself, wrote Shakespeare. Self-knowledge fuels your ability to grow. If you are acting solely according to what other people think or need, then your energy and self-awareness are diluted, and any risk prompts fear. Times of change require 'inner listening' to your gut feeling and personal values.

When you feel centred, you also feel more assured and receptive to the possibilities that a change presents. Aim for a daily meditative practice, where you sit quietly for 15 minutes. Be vigilant about defending this time from distractions. Ask yourself: What is the next right thing for me to do? The answer will come, all in good time.

Face the fear. Being willing to take a calculated risk is, in fact, hard-wired into our brains, and it is critical to our survival as a species. For centuries, it has been the tribe or individual who was prepared to learn, adapt and change they way they did something that were more likely to enjoy an improvement in their circumstances. While living in a world where we are bombarded with negative news at every turn – if the terrorists don’t get you, the GFC or Hendra virus will – encourages a scaredy-cat mindset, this is potentially more dangerous than the dangers themselves. Why? Because when we insulate ourselves from emotion, sensation and action, we become less alive. Doing something that scares you can be challenging, but it is essential for the development of self-esteem, psychological strength and the enjoyment of life.

Turn obstacles into opportunities. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "The one thing you think you can't change? That's the thing you must change." We humans are notoriously risk-averse: a habit, job or relationship can be causing us actual physical pain, but we still cling to it. Taking a chance is an opportunity to learn and grow. Break down what you need to do into manageable steps. And recognise that slightly panicked feeling for what it really is: excitement.

YOUR SAY: Do you struggle to push yourself out of your comfort zone? Tell us below!

User comments
I get enormous thrill from pushing myself and setting goals that I know will be a challenge to achieve. When I achieve them, and I always do despite my own doubts, I realise that I am so much more capable of things than I thought I was. The main thing is to never give up and to keep going, stay positive, and if you fall down on your face you just set new goals and keep on going. Life is not meant to be easy, but it is meant to be a challenge so take it that way and let that build your confidence in yourself. You can do it!
I have spent most of my 37 years being shy and with no confidence. I started singing lessons about a year and half ago. An oppurtunity arose and I entered a performing arts eistedfod. I was racked with fear and nervousness but knew that I would not pull out. the day came and was so overwhelmed with nerves but I got through it and scored 80 out of 100, What an amazing feeling to perform, it was the best and I want more!! I now put myself out there, despite my nerves. Its uncomfortable and scary to be out of your comfort zone, but the sense of achievement is just amazing. I am challenging myself and performing again in 2 weeks, so yes I do enjoy being out of my confort zone and it is a struggle, but so well worth it. I felt like a winner just for getting up on the stage!
what should we do to push ourselves. are we talking go bunjy jumping every day? cos that would be costly, and probably bad for your neck. i'd love to get out of my comfort zone but whats a practical way of doing it?
I just finished reading this article and it couldn't have come at a better time for me. I have been in my current relationship nearly 8 years and its been a long, hard, argementative struggle more than 50% of the time. I have finally decided to leave once and for all. It is not going to be an easy stretch, I will be moving out and paying 2 lots of living costs, 1 a half mortage and the other a share accommodation rate. My daughter will go from walking to school to catching buses and trains, we will be sharing house with others for a few months but its what I have to do to better our lives, it is a change that is a necessary. Otherwise I will end up loveless, miserable and unable to be happy in the everyday living of life which is how I am living now. When something comes to an end, there is nothing you can do but start again and take risk and hope that the choices you make benefit and enrich your life. I hope in a years time I will be alot happier then I have been the last few years!
I have become too comfortable living in hermit mode. I feel like I've isolated myself from people that I know I should be interacting with a lot more than I do. I've also become to shy and scared to make new friends, insecurity that they wont like me, I guess. I've even become to nervous or too lazy too actually call people and talk to them on the phone, and it gets worse the longer I leave it. I know that this is negative and not healthy, but hard to break. This is my comfort zone. It started happening when I had to "let go" of a few best friends of mine because they weren't being good to me like true friends should. I hope I grow out of this "recluse" phase soon. I feel like a real mole.
I agree you have to do everything in your power to haul yourself out of your comfort zone if you're going to succeed in going forward. I've managed to get from 10 schooners of beer to 15 in one session at the pub. I'm trying to get to 20 schooners in one session. I know if I face my fears and really pull my finger out and show some real commitment, I'll get to 20 schooners in one session. Whatever happens, I know I've tried my best.
*, Sydney, don't lose heart and don't be *** yourself. I think u may be depressed with losing your husband and that makes u weak. Get that treated adn u will be stronger
24 years ago I was at a point in my life where I had 3 directions to go. I could have stayed in my home town, I could have joined the army or I could have moved to the city to take up a completely different job. The second 2 prospects were quite scary (especially the army choice) but I knew that if I stayed in my home town I might not have grown into the person I am today. I chose to move to the city. I moved in with my future husband as a border, and we now have 4 children. Never since have I had such clear choices presented to me in such a way, but another one is coming up. My oldest child who is now 19 has autism and we as parents have to decide whether or not he goes into community care which means that I will be back in the job market.
Hi all, my last job lasted 9 years and everyone around me complained about the same things everyday. So I took the plunge out of my easy routine job and bought into a franchise. Worked my *** off, but the world really opened up and I relized I'd been cruising on auto pilot. Two years later I turned 40 and my business nearly killed me and I hit Deppresion. Can't explain it but would'nt wish it on my worst enemy. Lucky for me the right medication and family support got me through. All that said probly the best thing that has happened to me and now I live for everyday. So leave your whining collegues, turn of the "Reality Not Tv Shows" smell the roses, follow your instinks, and live the miricle of life we've been given, in the best country in the world. I now run my own business and work when and where it suits me.
About eight years ago I felt that I was in a real rut and needed some change. So I started a system where I set both long term goals and short term goals for each new year. Just a short list for each type. And it is working well. I got a job in that first year that i used my list, that would have seemed impossible to achieve ten years previous. Both parts of the list must contain something that makes me really challenge my sense of comfort and be quite scary. I know that to be a slave to my own sense of comfort will rob me and the community around me during my lifetime.

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