Mum-of-two Zoe Arnold has news for David Koch: mums don't like exposing their breasts in public any more than he likes seeing them but any mum, given the choice between a screaming baby and a content, well-fed one, will opt to get their boobs out. Anywhere, anytime.
One day I was breast-feeding my five-month-old in the Queen Victoria Building in Sydney. I was sitting at a café with a girlfriend when I noticed an elderly woman probably in her 80s walking towards me.
My immediate thought was that I hope I hadn't offended her. I shouldn't have worried: this lovely old lady came to me, put her hand on my shoulder and said, "You're doing a wonderful job. Good on you for feeding her in public".
I felt touched by her support. And proud of my body for doing what it's meant to do.
I guess the QVB is an area David 'Kochie' Koch would deem 'high traffic'. If you missed it, Kochie told us late last week that breastfeeding in public needed to be carried out in a "classy" way, and continued his retro opinions this morning, urging women to be "more discreet and modest".
I don't know any breastfeeding women who like getting their breasts out in public. I know I haven't loved the sensation of wrestling a screaming baby to my chest, while trying to fumble through my shirt to find a nipple she can latch onto.
It's not elegant, but it's natural and necessary if you're a breastfeeding mother.
My children have always preferred a quiet room, removed from noise and any other distractions. But, it's 2013 and I don't stay at home all day nursing my baby while I cook and clean for my husband. Sorry, Kochie. Times have changed.
Both my kids were breastfed for around a year and with both girls I had to feed them in public.
I did feel self-conscious whipping a nipple out in a café especially when mid-feed my baby would swing her head off, leaving me with a nipple leaking milk everywhere.
No, it's not particularly 'classy' I guess, but what aspect of motherhood is? Much of our children's first years revolve around fluids: the mess of labour, lactating nipples, endlessly dirty or wet nappies.
People like Kochie who tell us we should turn our chairs around while nursing; so as to not offend anyone, need to pull their heads in. Breastfeeding is natural, but it's often bloody hard work and those of us who choose to do it should be encouraged, not told it's a dirty little secret we should hide away.
It took me six weeks to get the hang of it. Six weeks of cracked nipples, lotions, nipple shields and pain. Pain worse than labour that would cause me to kick my legs out and scream.
Once I mastered it, it was great. My boobs came everywhere with me and my baby and I breastfed on planes, in cafes, on park benches … wherever and whenever my baby needed them.
You see more breasts in your local shopping mall: women wearing low cut tops where their cups runneth over. More breasts at the beach: tiny bikinis and look out! topless sunbathers. And Kochie wants us to cover up there, too. Our breasts are now so sexy even feeding a baby is offensive to a man's libido.
Well, I find your comments offensive, Kochie. Breasts aren't so sexy when they're full of milk. They're a food source. For babies.
And any mum, given the choice between a screaming baby and a content, well-fed one, will opt to get their boobs out. Anywhere, anytime.