Brad Pitt: Why we will never marry

Dotson Rader
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Michael Muller/Contour by Getty Images
Michael Muller/Contour by Getty Images
You have to recognise real love when it’s there and know that in going after it, there is always risk. To live with love, you have to chance losing it. — Brad Pitt
Dotson Rader
Twice voted the sexiest man alive, heart-throb Brad Pitt seems to have it all. Dotson Rader goes behind the headlines to find a star who is in love, but who has vowed not to marry until homosexuals are given the same right.

“My life has been about big changes,” says actor Brad Pitt. “It’s always been that way. When I go down a path, I take it to the end. Then I take another one. I took the path of not having kids – now it’s time for family.” The actor tells me this during a long afternoon at his home in Los Angeles.

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“Children are a dominant value in my life now and they weren’t before. They were always something I thought I’d get around to having when the time was right. It wasn’t what I was really seeking. In a way, I think I had to go and exhaust me before I could be good at being a parent.”

Brad and actress Angelina Jolie may be the most followed, admired and photographed couple in the world. They met on the set of the 2005 movie Mr & Mrs Smith while Brad was still married to actress Jennifer Aniston. The birth of Brad and Angelina’s first child, Shiloh, in May 2006, was treated by the international media like the crowning of royalty. Last year, they had twins – Vivienne Marcheline and Knox Léon. They also have three adopted children – Maddox, eight, Pax, five, and Zahara, four.

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On his relationship with Angelina
When someone asked me why Angie and I don’t get married, I replied, ‘Maybe we’ll get married when it’s legal for everyone else’,” he says. “I stand by that, although I took a lot of flak for saying it, hate mail from religious groups. I believe everyone should have the same rights. They say gay marriage ruins families and hurts kids. Well, I’ve had the privilege of seeing my gay friends being parents and watching their kids grow up in a loving environment.

“Would it bother me if a child of mine turns out to be gay? No, not one bit. Listen, I want my kids to live the lives they want to live, I want them to be fulfilled. I hope I teach my kids to be who they really are.”

He gets up and begins pacing the room. He is dressed in dark tan slacks, a black T-shirt and an unbuttoned white dress shirt that flutters like a silk flag. “Man, I resent people telling others how to live! It drives me mental!” he declares, loudly. “Just the other night, I heard this TV preacher say that Angie and I were setting a bad example because we were living out of wedlock and people should not be duped by us! It made me laugh.

“What damn right does anyone have to tell someone else how to live if they’re not hurting anyone? How many times do you think real love comes to someone in a lifetime? If you’re lucky, maybe two or three.”

Brad shakes his head in exasperation. “Do you know how you tell real love?” he asks. “It’s when someone else’s interest trumps your own. I like to put it that way – trumps your own. Love of somebody else – of family, of your kids – becomes the most important, most worthwhile thing in your life. It’s what you foster and protect.

“You have to recognise real love when it’s there and know that in going after it, there is always risk. To live with love, you have to chance losing it. That’s also true when you decide to have kids. It’s the risk you take for love.”

Read the rest of this story in the October issue of The Australian Women's Weekly with Tracy Grimshaw on the cover.

Your say: What do you think of Brad's decision? Do you think they will ever marry? Share your thoughts below...

User comments
Too many narrow minded people spend too much time worrying about how other people live their lives. What does it matter if Brad and Ange are married or not. They love each other and their children. Whether they are married or not makes no difference to my day to day - I'm a grown women who make my own decisions and I respect their right to make the decisions that suit them. If we lived our lives constantly worried about what other people think, it would be a sad life indeed.
All i would like to say about the matter is God i believe would judge us for our christian living in life, being kind to other's, loving and caring about people and the causes that are a concern to mankind. I am a very proud mother.................. My daughter is Gay and i was so glad when she told me, as i could see the suffering society had put on her. I Love her with all my heart she is a good beautiful and caring person.............. and Yes she has a womderful life , just any person should have. Proud Mum Lynn
it's fair for people to marry if they're homosexual. just unites their relationship. who cares about the bible anyway..
Brad said nothing about what is right or wrong. He simply said he thought everyone should have the same rights. He isn't asking for thanks. This is his small way of living with something he cannot control but may be able to make some small difference due to who he is. The bible is a book written by people not god. It is their interpretation of what god or jesus said. The same as much historical literature. People are subject to different interpretations, this should be evident as so many have interpreted the bible differently. Take from the bible the moral stories and the importance of being good. But don't base life decisions in this time period with the writings of people so many centuries ago. I struggle to understand who god in all his magnificence would condone such hate and even murder in his name. You want the stories, you want to hear what he says so don't ask what right he has to preach, you gave it to him!!! we are the ones without that right, yet here we are.
A commendable stance but why? They won't thank him. They won't campaign for him should he need it. Does he want to be married? Why put a condition on it? And why not midgets or koalas? It's just all so silly, even childish. I've been told I have benign delusions. Don't see Brad or the gays doing much about that. It ain't worth it anyway. I'll take care of myself thank you very much. What's in it for him? Oh, some commendable, altruistic, radical idealism to be satsified, an heroic image, transient gay or marginalized worship. It just reeks of some sort of egoic narcissism that's all which is amazing considering he's as famous as you can get. The guy's got principles that's for sure. Can' t fault that. But why that one? The gay movement needs to address it's rampant heterophobia and cultism anyway. We all got to clean up our acts. What's his?
I never knew some peoples' marriage depended on others. I mean, seiously!!! But then again Angelina was GAY at one point. And how many guys has she been with???? That's also probably why she's not marrying...it's become pointless to her because she might again have to ditch Brad for someone else maybe a *** when HOMOSEXUALS ARE ALOWWED TO MARRY.She must have wanted to marry whoever her gay partner was at the time. I don't remember Brad standing up for *** before getting together with Ange. I'm glad the rest of Hollywood are not following this sad, pathetic weirdos.
Mr Jolie-Pitt, who then, are you to teach the world how to live? A man just like anybody else - don't take your material accomplishments and pretty face as a right to preach. The world is your sad stage, and you too will be gone like a candle in the wind.
hear hear notugly! Who in his or her right mind would CHOOSE to be gay? At the risk of turning this into a debate on homosexuality, I commend Brad Pitt on his stand on the issue. If we could all understand and accept each other for the contribution we can make to society irrespective of race, creed, sexuality etc it would be a better world wouldn't it? As Susan Boyle sang... "I dreamed a dream"....
on ya dude you have the same attitude as me man.... you instil the moral, ethical and spiritual values into your kids by love and not all the *** hype that is out there.... kids learn what they live and whats the use of a piece of paper called a marriage cert if all the parents do is fight and carryon.... marriage is how you live and set the moment to moment vibe not a piece of bloody paper.... i really admire you and Angelina for going it your own way even tho the *** press try and screw your image.... keep hanging in there and you got my full admiration for trying to be authentic....peace to you and yours.... Star from Australia....
God created man and women. This is the basis of all christian faith. Evolution has proved that god did not create man.Man created god, like dragons and fairies.

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